It's Just a Phase
by BoogaHP1D
Summary: They all said it was just a phase. Being Puck. But loving Kurt, it couldn't be just a phase. It was too real. But Kurt didn't, couldn't, love him back. Because he was Puck. And not Noah. The broken boy who loved him with all of his heart. Puck/Kurt


_Warning: Suicidal themes and depression_

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><p>They all said it was just a phase.<p>

The Doctors.

The Therapists.

His Mother.

His Nana.

Finn.

Santana.

Quinn.

Kurt.

Everyone.

They all said it was just a phase.

That he would get over it.

But it's been seven years.

And Noah is still Puck.

Eventually, they all stopped trying.

Stopped trying to bring Noah out of his shell that was Puck.

His ma after his father left.

Finn after he knocked Quinn up.

Santana after they stopped talking.

Quinn after Beth.

And Kurt when Blaine came along.

Blaine, who stole Kurt away from him.

But Noah was a fool for thinking Kurt could ever love him.

For who could ever love Noah.

Not his father.

Not Quinn.

Not Shelby.

And certainly not Kurt.

Everyone he opened up to, he lost.

That's why they all loved Puck.

He was insensitive.

Ruthless.

Unbreakable.

But Noah, Noah was broken.

More broken than anyone could ever think.

Inside, he was just a terrified little boy, screaming to be set free.

Noah.

But part of Noah died when his father left.

And he became Puck.

Puck who made bad decisions.

Puck who was mean and cold.

Puck who was reckless.

Puck who destroyed what was left of Noah.

With thoughts.

And words.

And Feelings.

But Noah came back.

Noah came back to save himself from self-destruction.

For he knew that death wasn't a phase.

Death was forever.

And forever was too permanent.

But lying there, so helpless, made Puck want to be dead.

But Noah knew better.

So he called someone.

He called help.

He called Kurt.

Because Kurt made Noah happy.

Just hearing his voice brightened even the darkest day.

Like today.

And Kurt said he was coming over.

And Noah was the happiest he'd been in a long time.

And Kurt came.

And he looked at Puck.

And he only saw Noah.

Noah, the broken soul longing to be loved.

Noah, the hidden boy with a joyful spirit.

Noah, who loved Kurt with all of his heart.

And Kurt.

Kurt loved Noah too.

But he couldn't love Puck.

And that was why he was with Blaine.

To protect himself.

To protect himself from Puck.

Puck who insulted him.

Puck who slushied him.

Puck who didn't love him.

Even though he felt nothing.

But with Noah, he felt joy and happiness.

He felt love.

And Noah took that love, and embraced it.

But Puck stomped on that love, until it was nothing.

Because Puck didn't understand love.

But Noah did.

Love meant Kurt.

And Kurt meant happiness.

But Noah could never be happy.

Because Noah was demolished by Puck.

And Puck couldn't love.

So Noah stayed as Puck.

Unloved, and unhappy.

Shielded.

Begging to come out.

To let the world know he was in love.

With Kurt.

But Puck was too strong.

But not strong enough against Kurt.

For lying here, in Kurt's arms.

Crying.

He felt loved.

Wanted.

Happy.

Because Kurt cared.

And Kurt was the only one he cared about.

Not his Ma.

Not Finn.

Not Santana.

Not Quinn.

Not Shelby.

Not his father.

Just Kurt.

Only Kurt.

But then Kurt was gone.

Back into Blaine's arms.

Back away from Noah.

Noah, who slid back behind Puck.

Noah, who slid back into the darkness.

The darkness of being unloved.

And he walked.

And he ate.

And he slept.

And he spoke.

All in darkness.

Because that's all what Puck did.

He created darkness.

A shadow.

For Noah to hide behind.

Because Noah was broken.

And scared.

Scared of not being loved.

Terrified of Kurt not loving him.

Because for how much he loved Kurt.

How much he cared.

It would burn not to be loved back.

So he cried.

He cried at night.

For a father who would never care.

For a daughter he would never know.

For a life he would never have.

And for Kurt.

Kurt, who could never love him.

And he cried more.

And he called Kurt.

Who didn't answer anymore.

Who shared his voicemail with Blaine.

Who didn't care anymore.

For who could care about Noah.

Not his father.

Not Santana.

Not Finn.

Not Quinn.

Not Shelby.

And not Kurt.

Kurt.

The reason he was still here.

The reason he never pulled the trigger.

The reason he never swallowed the pills.

The reason he never tore into his skin.

The reason he still cried.

Every night.

Because Kurt could never care.

Until he saw the look in Puck's eyes.

The look that only Noah could bring.

Sadness.

Depression.

And the tears.

The tears in the corners of his eyes.

Waiting to be released.

To be set free.

Because of him.

And his selfishness.

He failed to see how broken Noah was.

How shattered Noah was.

And he went home.

And he cried.

For Noah.

Noah, who loved him with all of his heart.

Noah, who was torn down by Puck.

Noah, who was consumed with love, and grief, and love.

For him.

Kurt.

And he called Blaine.

And he told him they were done.

And he told him he was sorry.

And he told him that he was in love with someone else.

Noah.

And Blaine asked if he did something wrong.

And Blaine cried.

And as much as it hurt for him to hear it from Blaine.

It would hurt a lot more to hear it from Noah.

It would burn.

And he got in his car.

And he drove.

And thought.

About Noah.

Noah, who was broken beyond repair.

Noah, who cried every day.

Noah, who loved him with all of his heart.

And he knocked.

And found Noah.

Noah, who was sobbing.

Noah, who was clutching his heart.

Noah, who loved Kurt with all of his heart.

And he held him.

He held the broken boy all night.

And he hugged him.

And he kissed him.

And he loved him.

And Noah loved him back with all of his heart.

And Puck disappeared.

Nowhere to be found.

Gone.

The phase was over.

And they both love each other.

And they both talked.

And they both kissed.

And they both thought.

Thought about love.

And life.

And Noah thought.

About Puck.

About himself.

And about Kurt.

Kurt, whom he loved with all of his heart.

And he spoke.

Loving Kurt isn't just a phase.

Loving Kurt is forever.

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><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! They really help! :)**


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